I could still hear the dogs barking through the moonlight, the cold breeze of the night blows through the surface of pond, the big ol' tree sleeping the night away. My eyes were wide awake and the clock were ticking it's shade past the one, the white ceiling had thirty two dents on the middle, they were tiny but pretty sure I counted it right. The hanging map of Nepal on the wall right next to my bed were now taunting me about how less I travel with small markers on places I have been to. I feel like waking up and taking the map off the wall. Blankets were already on and tucked into the bed well; Cannot risk waking up and finding that perfect position to be comfortable again.
As I turned over in bed, I took a moment to survey the room. Three jackets that I had washed and hung to dry were now lying in a heap on the floor. I grimaced at my own clumsiness, wondering how I had managed to knock them down. Next to the jackets, a few pairs of jeans were also scattered haphazardly. I knew that I should pick them up and put them back in their proper places, but the thought of exerting the effort seemed overwhelming.
As I lay there, my mind began to wander, and I found myself daydreaming about a life where everything was always neat and tidy. A life where I didn't have to worry about putting things back in their place, because everything was always where it was supposed to be.
But then I shook my head, realizing that such a life was impossible. Life is messy!!
I should probably turn off the lights but the switch were far off. I need to get one of those "hit the switch stick" one of these days now. Curse it! I will just close my eyes and light will fade away just like that.
The silence is within reach, and the dogs outside are likely exhausted from their earlier barking. The stillness is so profound that even a sneeze could be heard by the old lady who lives three blocks away. It seems that nothing could disturb her slumber, not even the blaring of a truck horn right outside her door. The peacefulness of the night is almost surreal, a welcome reprieve from the hustle and bustle of the day.
As the moments of shiver passed, I felt myself slipping away. It was as if I was no longer in control of my own body. My legs refused to obey my commands, and my hands were no longer under my control. It was a surreal experience, as if I was watching myself from the perspective of someone else.
I could see my body shaking uncontrollably, and I felt as if my heart was about to burst out of my chest. It was as if all the fear and anxiety that had been building up inside me had reached its boiling point. Every breath was a struggle, and every beat of my heart felt like a hammer blow.
As I looked at myself, I couldn't help but wonder what had brought me to this point. What had caused me to lose control like this? Was it the stress of work, the weight of my responsibilities, or something else entirely?
Despite my confusion, one thing was clear: I needed to find a way to regain control of my body and my mind. I couldn't let this moment of weakness define me, or else I would be trapped in a cycle of fear and uncertainty.
With that thought in mind, I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. Slowly but surely, the shivering began to subside, and I felt myself regaining control. It was a long and difficult process, but I knew that I had to persevere if I wanted to overcome my fears and anxieties.
***UPDATING SOON***
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